the end.

This year ends in exactly 6h 45min and i'm sitting here thinking about what happened in the past while they are already celebrating the new year in shanghai. it all started with a wonderful new years eve at marie's, together with my girls ♥ we nearly burned the curtain with a candle.. actually it burned already but we recognized early enough, we had lots of delicious food and the time until 12pm went away too fast. i bought my first snowboard and my so loved holga ♥ it was a rainy and grey summer but i had lots of fun anyway, i thankfully changed my style from wannabee-emo to a dark and more serious one, i improved my skills in drawing and doing the splits, i had wonderful nights with my girls, i visited berlin ♥ ; venice ♥ ; verona ♥ and athens ♥, i expirienced lots of unbelievable; beautiful ; strange and amusing things with my best friend, i got my driving license (after vainly trying it 3 times..),i found and lost a love, i dyed my hair chocolate brown, i had lots of amazing parties and finally i started this blog. my new years resolutions are to draw and draw and draw, to spend less time in facebook, to improve my style, to do more sports and to learn some Japanese. i know i won't keep them up but it's good to have some aims you can reach within a year or if not you can work on them the next year. so i wish you all a nice new years eve, a wonderful 2011 and fortune to be always with you. ♥


YES! first Holga photos are digitalised now! i finally got my negative scanner working so i can show you some of the best shots.. :D

Photos taken with HOLGA 120 GCFN


So at the moment i'm packing all my stuff for a wonderful
 ski- & snowboard trip with my best friend tomorrow. 
i'm soo looking forward! i know she's much better 
and faster on her skis than me on my snowboard
 but we'll having fun anyway :D 
with funparks, hot chocolate and hopefully sunshine ♥

cold dreams - pictures from


i could just explode right now! all i wanted is to connect the negative scanner with my notebook but that doesn't work! those unbelievable birdbrained people didn't send me the right driver. i could kill them!! how could you be so dumb and forget that windows 7 does exist for more than a year now and send a driver only for vista instead? i tried 4 hours to get it working. nothing. i'm so aggressive right now. all i wanted is to load some holga photos up. what a drama.


travelling to japan is one of the things i'll definitely do
in my life. i just have to go there and if i look at all those
wonderful pictures i could just pack my bags ; drive to the
airport and instantly fly to tokyo. i LOVE all this colorful and cute
plastic stuff, the signs and the language, the food, just everything ♥
japan ; you're my destination!

japan - photos from


we've been watching a movie about a older women, whose job is drawing kind of strange things, in my art course. now i feel very bad because this women is just full of never ending inspiration and she's just travelling and drawing, although i really hate her drawings, they are just too brown and always the same.. no question that she's good at drawing but there is no connection between her art and me. i really wish i had more time for drawing or painting at home so i'm really looking forward to have a lot of free time in the holidays now for that stuff. i'll get a notebook and a negative-scanner for christmas so i'll be able to post some holga photos & i'm absolutely glad that i don't have to sit in front of this unbelievable slow working computer anymore O__o but i really have to be careful not to spend my whole day surfing in the internet with the new notebook, i'd rather draw something.. ^-^

strange dreams.

" i was sitting in my chemistry course when a loud alarm resounded. it was a homicidial maniac warning. we all were shocked and started searching our capsules with synthetic blood , broke them open and layed down on the floor. a few seconds later the homicidial maniac came in and wanted to shoot us all down, he stopped because all those 'blooding' people on the floor canfused him. my teacher used this short moment to take her prepared plastic squirt gun she filled with acid before and shoot at his hands and his face. the acid burned everything and the homicidial maniac collapsed."

what a strange dream. acid in a plastic gun and a homicidial maniac in my school ? i'm really afraid now.. what does that nightmare mean ? one of those dream readers would call me insane i think.. i searched for blood ; gun ; homicidial maniac ; school ; etc. on some shady websites and they all predicted me hard tests and a bad future. oh wow how nice.. but i don't really believe in this shit. dreams are a way of working with your impressions ; feelings and expieriences of the day and they are NOT predestinating your future. i would have been dead for a long time, 'cause of so much crap i dreamed in my life already o__O


because of unbeliavable boredom i started drawing some looks i want to wear and post in the problem is that i don't have all the things i need for those looks. i need this absolutely wonderful grey sweatshirt from . but it's really expensive . . about $50 ( shipping included ) and it's sold out anyway =/ WHYYY ?! it's sold out every second week..! i could maybe buy one of the boys section, not necessarily from dropdead but from any other store. oh i really have to go to munich this weekend ^-^ maybe they have this jacket again in my size i wanted to buy last time at ann chrisine's, and those dr-marten-like shoes. . or those fake 'ugg-boots'.. dark or medium brown ? hm. and i really need some christmas presents . . okey i will go to munich, that's for sure :D 
but there is one last, sad news : yesterday the last episode of Fringe was shown in german tv. it's a kind of mystery-series & i really liked it ( not only for those nasty cases of death ^-^ ) at the end you're always thinking everything went good, but then in the last minute you know it didn't. i love this strain and the O-M-G-effect ♥


today i keept the whole day with baking and decorating some was a lot of fun & the kitchen was a real mess afterwards . . my little sister helped me, we're both not a kind of super chef but the cookies got really delicious ♥ nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom :D yeah it's a colorful christmas this year.. we dyed the icing with food coloring so we could paint some yellow stars and red hearts and green fir trees and so on ;D baking is so much fun! we filled two baking sheets with our colorful-cookie-creations ♥ ♥ 
& no, those cookies in the picture are NOT ours ; ours are just too awful to post c:


i really have to order some things from ; they have absolutely awesome basics and i fucking love this onlineshop. some nice tops and sweaters i really need. a lot of black things but nope, i'm not gothic or something like that . . i'm just changing my style to a darker and more serious one. there are too many too much colorful things in my cupboard i need to get rid of. i don't want to be estimated younger than i really am. some people think i'm 13. WTF ? i am 17, okey ? so black doesn't only make slim but older too :D black is a fabulous colour ; black nights ; black cats ; black tights ; black jack ; sirius black ; black paint ; black black black. & what i need too is the grey dropdead sweater. OMG! i loove it ♥ and again: why are all those onlineshops from the UK ? germany just sucks so much >.< what is fashion here ? everybody is just wearing h&m ; everybody is just wearing the same things. it sucks.


i found the most phantastic photography website ever. 
there are so many so unbelievable pictures ;
 lots of inspiration in fashion and photography ;
 just wonderful. take a look at

spacey - photos from

the future.

where is my inspiration ? boredom ; missing time ; tiredness ; pressure . . where is my life ? i'm really looking forward the weekend ; holidays and christmas, time for me to do what i want ; to take some photos ; to draw ; to go snowboarding . . at the moment my life is only learning and writing tests ; trying to plan my future with searching for a fitting course of studies and some internships to test if a particular job is the job of my dreams or not. i tried architecture, it was nice but i couldn't work as an architect . . there are so many rules in germany how to build and how a house should look like so my creativity is so constricted and i couldn't let my ideas fly free, for that i had to go to japan ^-^ NO. architecture isn't the right course of studies. i'm rather thinking of interior design ; photo design or media design. i can't decide so i really have to try all those jobs, i found some agencies but they haven't replied to my requests yet. this waiting makes me kind of sick >.< there are some universities in munich for those courses of studies, they are really unbelievably awesome, some have integrated semesters abroad, but they are all private. so they are about $700-900 a month. how could a normal person pay this ? i hate it. i really have to try to get a scholarship or sth like that . . otherwise my dreams will burst like a soap bubble.

lace-up boots.

i finally got those black lace up boots i wanted so much! they're beautiful ♥ i bought them at pimkie, a kind of mainstream shop, but they have really nice and fat scarfes - and shoes ! :D so i'm really happy that i won't have to stump through the snow with chucks anymore. it was cruel, after 3 minutes my feet felt like ice cubes and it took hours to get them warm again. maybe i'll buy a pair of those 'UGG-boots' too. they're really warm and fluffy and cuddly ♥ 

inimitably birdbrained.

waking up and seeing this big white blanket of powder snow and knowing you won't be able to go snowboarding is so depressing. i also had to learn for my history and social studies test on monday. what a boring day. so while learning something about a little ice age i thought about snowboarding again and decided to grab my board and go outside . . i would find a small hill somewhere in my village, white and snowy village. so i dressed up ; pants ; scarf ; beanie ; jacket ; gloves ; boots and went outside. not even 200 meters and i foud a very interesting hill with a kind of little stage to jump down. perfect. the first runnings were horrible. i fell down a lot. and climbing up and riding down - up and down - up and down - up - down - up - down is soo exhausting. but i stood some tricks in the end and i'm a little bit safer again in riding so it was worth it. you might think now i'm a complete freak - you're right. but what would life be without a pinch of freakiness ? it would be grey and boring. nothing else. maybe the people around you think you're a bit insane, so what ? 
'haters make me famous' - ALEX EVANS